It seems like it all starts when we’re little girls. The idea of what our futures will be like is already being programmed into our young, innocent minds. We’re made to believe that all of our dreams will come true just like that. We’ll grow up, graduate high school, go to college, meet the man of dreams and get married, start a family, and live happily ever after.
For those of us who still dream this, it may not come as easy as we hoped it would. Not for me at least. Though I was lucky enough to meet my prince charming in high school, the upcoming years didn’t go exactly how I thought they would.
A few months after having a beautiful wedding surrounded by our friends and family, we decided it was a good time to start a family. It was all fun and games at first, but after about seven months, we realized it wasn’t as easy as we thought it would be. But then it happened, I was pregnant! We were shocked! Unfortunately though, it was short lived. A week before my first ultrasound, we lost the baby. A woman never expects this to happen, and is completely devastated when it does. This was the absolute worst thing I had ever gone through and it took a very long time for the pain to go away.
Before this happened to me, I had never really heard of too many women having gone through this. It was something that wasn’t publicly talked about. Having experienced it though, I had no idea what my body would go through to return to normalcy. After being put on bed rest, getting blood work week after week to confirm that my pregnancy hormones were decreasing, and all without being able to work or continue my college courses, I was at my wit’s end. Eventually, everything was back to normal and was some what back to being myself.
Due to all the stress and emotions of this experience, we decided to take some time off from trying to start a family…..so instead we focused our love on our fur babies, I went back to college and graduated, and we continued living our daily lives. After a couple years though, we we ready to get back at it. We went through the same struggles with “trying” this time around though, so we decided to go to the doctor. After numerous tests, we were left with the results of………….UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY. All of our tests results came back normal and I didn’t know what to think. I almost would have wanted something to be wrong, just so that I’d have an answer.
The doctor told us to keep trying and said that it “would happen when the time was right”. I was now living my life on a month-to-month cycle. Tracking my temperature, ovulation, and cycle changes was now a part of my daily routine. Month after month went by with negative results. Each month more devastating than the last. In the midst of this, we were still dealing with the usual comments from those around us “It’ll happen when the time is right”, “you must be trying too hard”, “you’re so young, there’s still time”, “what’s meant to be will be”……..and the worst happens when meeting someone new and having them ask “do you have children, or are you planning to have kids”? Talk about heartbreak!
I decided that it was time for us to see a specialist, but of course, it was a three month waiting list. We’re now at May 2015…..this was a month that I had tracked everything perfectly! I felt something different about this month, this would be it…….and I was right! I was pregnant! We were all so happy and felt that it was the right time, that this would be it, we were ready to be parents. A few short weeks later, another loss. I couldn’t believe it….why was this happening to me? What is wrong with my body? Why is it so easy for others? We were devastated.
As fate would have it though, I had forgotten to cancel my fertility specialist appointment. So we went ahead and kept it. This meant more tests……many more tests. All of this so they could determine why weren’t able to stay pregnant. It started with blood work, I even lost count of how many vials have been taken in the process, more ultrasounds, and biopsies……all with the same results…..UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY. Though my doctor knows it has something to do with the genetics of the embryo, that they weren’t developing properly, this is why we’ve continued to have such early losses. He thens says the worse possible thing a woman can hear…..”there is a very small chance you will be able to have a child naturally”.
In-Vitro Fertilization is now our only option, and it will include genetic testing to rule out any chromosomal abnormalities.
Fast forward to present day……..stay tuned!